It can have a huge impact when you support someone who is feeling torn. It can, literally, change their life.
So here are ten of the essential skills that you need to develop.
For the extended version of this article which contains more detail, see our article ‘Ten ways of supporting the torn’.
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Validating: Help the person feel more confident about themselves with your words and your hugs.
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Listening: Give your full attention to them while they talk out their thoughts and feelings.
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Putting yourself second: Hold back from telling your story so that they can resolve theirs.
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Asking questions: Show you are engaged and interested to help them go deeper and understand more.
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Accepting emotions: Allow them to be as emotional as they need to be so they can move on.
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Assisting practically: Offer to help out on the practical tasks – inner conflict can drain energy.
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Gathering information: Help finding out more about the situation – more information can instantly unlock the conflict.
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Using tiny moves: Offer small support – the right word, gesture, or cup of coffee.
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Advising appropriately: Hold back on advice – what may have been right for you may not be tight for them.
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Witnessing: Be there for the person – interested, fully engage, honoured to be helping them on their journey.