Problem: You're really struggling with your inner conflict. But you don’t know whether your struggle is bad enough to get a professional involved.
Action plan: These key questions will help you get clearer on whether you need outside support – and how to start the process.
- Has the inner conflict been going on for a long time? Happening repeatedly? Getting. more complicated? Becoming more distressing? The more you answer ‘yes’ to these answers the more likely it is you’ll benefit from getting professional support.
- Is the inner conflict affecting your physical or emotional health? Your relationships? Your work? Your financial wellbeing? Are you getting more anxious or losing your temper more often? These are all signs that coping on your own may not be enough.
- Talk to people who have successfully navigated the inner conflict you are hitting by getting outside help of the kind you need. Your situations may not be the same so don’t assume that their experience will be yours – but it might help reassure you.
- Is someone in your life pressuring you to resolve your conflict in a way you’re not comfortable with? If so, absolutely get professional support to help offset or protect yourself against this pressure.
- Are you hesitating to get professional support because you lack financial resources. If so, accessing a charity who deals with the same issues but at reduced rate may help.
- Are you resisting getting professional help because you feel that means you can’t cope. In particular are you wary of counselling because people might think you are mentally ill? Talk to someone you know who has sought professional help and can reassure you that it isn’t a sign of failure.
- Take the first step by finding out what's available. Helpful GP? Local support group? Dedicated helpline? Mentor? Mediator? Advice from your employer? Professional advisor such as a solicitor or accountant? Personal, couple or family counselling? Specialist charities? Books? Leaflets? Specialist online resources?
- Take the next step by arranging a no-obligation meeting with an appropriate professional. If they can’t help or you don’t feel comfortable with them, see another professional with a different approach. Keep going until you find the one you need.
Visit our page for advice on getting professional help for someone you are supporting.