Olivia writes:
"In 2008, I was near retirement age. And with the credit crunch, work dried up and retirement seemed logical. Yet it seemed forced. I didn't want to retire! But should I?"
Olivia's answer was to change careers and gain a new lease of life. But from then on, she constantly felt she was facing retirement but was conflicted about when and how.
"I thought this through for years. I enjoyed my work, the money, the status, the fact I was contributing. Yet I also knew I'd retire eventually. So when?"
Olivia did all the groundwork. Got clear on her financial position. Went part-time to gauge the impact of less work. Estimated the emotional effect of retirement.
"What wasn't clear was the timing. I did consecutive projects – and when each ended I was always keen to do the next. So when was the right time to retire?"
Olivia's resolution came suddenly. When her wonderful line manager told her he was leaving the company, she couldn't imagine working without him. It was the last piece of the jigsaw.
"I went back to my desk and heaved a sigh of relief. Decision made. Burden lifted. I had a new project – being retired. Resolution. More than that – triumph."
One insight
Our interviews show it clearly – one of the core steps to resolving inner conflict is gathering information about all the possible options. Not just facts and fitures but conversations, experiences and even trial runs will help make the best direction clear. Which is why Olivia's ground work set her on a clear and stable foundation.
One lesson
It can feel as if you need to take charge and all on your own 'make the right decision' or 'choose the right path' to resolve your conflict. Sometimes though, the world presents you with a deal-maker, a tipping point. Olivia's boss leaving was not her action but his. But she then had the wisdom to act on what had happened.
Four questions
- What's your best way of gathering information? Reading, watching videos, hearing about what others have done, trying things yourself?
- When did you hesitate for a long while over a decision – and that actually worked better for you?
- If you think back to a time when you suddenly knew something was right for you, what does that memory teach you?
- If someone you know is deep in a situation where information is needed, how might you help them with that?
This is a real-life story of inner conflict taken from our research interviews. To maintain confidentiality we’ve removed identifying details.