Problem: You're unsure whether the person you're helping needs more or different help than you can offer – maybe specialist or professional help.
Action plan: Rather than just wondering, you need to gather information about the situation and let that guide you. Here’s how.
- Pay close attention to the conflicted person. In particular, notice signals which show their situation is worsening, becoming more distressed. If so, they may need specialist help.
- Check yourself. Are you coping with your role? If supporting impacts on you negatively, it may be time for professional help. Making sure you’re OK is the first duty of a supporter.
- Get a sense of what others think - preferably without pushing the panic button. Ask friends or family relaxed general questions such as “Is she OK… is he managing?”and listen carefully to the answers you hear.
- Find out what resources are available and what’s appropriate. Helpful GP? Local support group? Dedicated helpline? Mentor? Mediator? Advice from your employer? Professional advisor such as a solicitor or accountant? Personal, couple or family counselling? Specialist charities? Books? Leaflets? Specialist online resources?
- Check in with the person themselves. How would they feel about speaking to a professional? The idea of outside help often meets resistance, so go slowly and gently. The person may need reassurance that they aren't being weak in needing specialist support.
- If the situation seems urgent, contact your national mental health support services as they will know what other resources are available.
Visit our page for advice on getting professional help for yourself.